Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
by arenaCeous
Summary: [oneshot] You're not supposed to love me! And why the hell not? We all have the chance to turn the doorknob and walk out the door, but do we? TouyaTomoyo


disclaimer: I am writing this against my own free will. Clamp owns CCS, and they can kiss my :)

a/n: this pairing is my new obsession. It's two in the morning and if I choose to write this in the morning I'll forget everything.

* * *

"You're not supposed to love me."

"And why the hell not?"

"Because you can't!" she cried out. Spinning on her heel she made a grab for her bag and walked quickly towards the door.

He wasn't going to let it go that easy. They watched each other too many times while she was over for it to be nothing. Too many words had gone unspoken as she walked out the door with only a bow. He wasn't going to let her walk out this time. Touya Kinomoto took six long strides towards the door, reaching it before her, and blocked it with his body.

With no way out of the house, Tomoyo Daidouji was frozen in her spot. Taking two steps towards her he grabbed the bag out of her hand and placed it to the side.

"What if I don't care?" he growled backing her up into a table. His eyes flashed dangerously as he moved in close enough to feel her breath on his skin. Her breaths were quick and shallow, almost as if she was scared. Staring into her eyes his features softened immediately when he realised what he had done to her.

Breathing a sigh of relief Tomoyo quickly moved away from her spot against the table into an open space in the middle of the room. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears and she tried to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry," he said dumbstruck. He had forgotten she was just a child, and he had scared her. "God I'm sorry. I know you're right," he told her running his hand through his hair as he sighed in frustration. He took a step closer to her, and she took one step back.

"You're too young for me," he said taking another step towards her. She nodded her head in agreement while she took another step back. '"Still in high school," he muttered to himself quietly; resisting the urge to hold her soft white hands in his.

"Yeah," she whispered, echoing his words, "too young." It tore her heart into a million pieces to say these things. She wanted nothing more than to throw everything out the window and love recklessly. She didn't want to give a damn about her priorities, and what other people thought of her...

But she did. It wasn't a matter of whether or not she wanted to, she just did. She took another step backwards, away from him. It would be so unlike her to risk everything for love, to give it all up for him. She spent her whole life trying to please people; giving up on the girl she thought she once loved, sacrificing her own happiness for someone else's.

_They were in fourth grade, standing outside the elementary school. "I'd notice any little thing about you." she said to her. Yuki had cut Sakura's hair and nobody else noticed but her. "Even if you cut your nails I'd notice."_

"I'm your little sister's bestfriend," she told him, gently placing her hand on his arm to stop him from coming any closer as she took yet another step back.

Taking his hand in hers, he held it firmly and pulled it to the side of his body so he had a clear path to take another step forward. He was putting his heart on the line here for this one girl. She wasn't extraordinarily beautiful. She could sing, and sew, and she was nice; but that was it. She was the girl next door, who nobody noticed, nobody except him. He watched her grow up and he spent half his life thinking she'd only be a little sister to him. Touya prayed to God that it meant something to her; that all the stolen glances and the hidden smiles weren't just nothing.

_It was two years ago, and he stood next to her watching out the living room window as Sakura walked down the street hand-in-hand with that brown haired brat. Tomoyo's stifled sobs were barely audible, but he heard them anyway. Grabbing her hand in a comforting way, he lightly ran his thumb over her knuckles and led her away from the window. They spent the rest of that afternoon together, swapping stories of Sakura over a cup of tea._

Nothing was the same between them after that day. When they turned red around each other, it wasn't just the heat. The way she said his name whenever she greeted him sounded different. It was as if she was singing it, rather than saying it. Her hair was no longer just long and purple, but a deep blue violet that cascaded down her back like a waterfall. She wasn't just Daidouji-san anymore, and they both knew it.

"Then tell me you don't love me," he said softly, barely loud enough for her to hear. Part of him wished that she didn't love him, it'd make letting her walk away easier for him.

"I -" Tomoyo croaked, choking back a sob. She didn't know. "I think I do," she said groaning in frustration, "But 'I think I do' isn't enough. Regardless of whether I do or not, I'm not supposed to, and you can't either!" Yanking her hand free from his, she swerved around him and made a dash for the door; her bag lying forgotten on the ground.

"Hey," he called out to her. Touya whipped around and ran after her, just barely managing to catch her wrist. Tomoyo froze in her spot and slowly turned around. The tears that were kept locked up began free falling down her face. She was two steps away from the door; she would've been out it by now.

"I get it," he said hoarsely taking two steps towards her; she took one step back and shook her head. "I do," he insisted loosening his grip on her. "You're too young, my sister's bestfriend, my mother's cousin's daughter, and you were right all along."

She took another step backwards feeling cool solid wood on her back. She was right up against the door. Touya took another two steps and looked down, their heads were almost touching.

"I'm not supposed to love you," he said to her. Tomoyo's hand was on the doorknob, ready to turn it, yank it open and run out without looking back. "No," she said in a sad whisper, "You can't."

Her hand twitched, ready to turn the knob. He leaned forward so his breath tickled her ear.

"But I do"

She locked it instead.


End file.
